As for your second question: Yes, there are ways to tell if someone is a Chesed besides process of elimination. Cheseds have qualities that are specific to their personality. They are fans of The System (those societal and cultural norms and rules that people subscribe to) and like to follow it. They trust what society teaches and are naturally inclined to follow leaders. (Yes they, too, can be leaders; we’ll speak about that in a sec.)
When your average Chesed speaks, he will sound slightly different than a Gevurah, though Gevurahs also follow The System. A Gevurah’s following of The System is much more intense.
If a Chesed saw his classmate about to leave school early he would say “What’s going on? We’re supposed to go to Rabbi Silverman’s class at one-o’-clock” while a Gevurah would say “Where are you going?! We’re supposed to go to class now!” It has more of a tough-minded sound and feel to it. He may not yell (though some Gevurahs can be loud) but he’ll have a certain resolve and seriousness in their voice that Cheseds don’t have.
Yes, you may find Cheseds saying what Gevurahs usually say, the exact wording is not the way to tell who is who. Listen closely to the intonation of the person’s voice and the unspoken message behind what he is saying. Is he simply, politely sounds like he’s saying “The System (i.e. going to class) is what we are supposed to do” then he’s a Chesed. If he firmly sounds like he’s saying “How could you not obey The System?! It’s what people do!” that’s Gevurah all the way.
Cheseds also enjoy simpler,
Cheseds, as I mentioned, naturally follow their society’s leaders. That’s not to say that Cheseds cannot become leaders. Cheseds have the unique ability to mold themselves into who they want to be so they *can* mold themselves into being leaders, as well. And even if they are leaders they inevitably study up on what a leader would do in their situation; they can’t always think of the right way to lead and solve their System’s problems. So you will inevitably hear them quote what other skilled and/or famous people have done and how the Chesed has patterned himself after those methodologies. Later Cheseds especially are able to take on leadership roles, they get this from Avraham Avinu, who “walked in front of Hashem”, as opposed to Noah who only “walked with Hashem” (1). And Later Cheseds lead me to your 3rd question…
You mentioned that Cheseds make up 50% of the Jewish population and you brought up that knowing a Chesed’s secondary Middah must be essential. These are true, but I must clarify for you.
The category of “Earlier Cheseds” is made up of anyone with the Chesed-Chesed personality, and ‘Later Cheseds” includes Chesed-Gevurah, Chesed-Tiferes…all the way down to Chesed-Malchus. (Because of your question I have reinstituted this explanation in the sidebar on the right side of the page.) Though I consider both Later and Earlier Cheseds to be true Cheseds, Later Cheseds exhibit slightly different qualities. Most of them are much more preoccupied with being organized than Earlier Cheseds and all of them enjoy order. They enjoy efficiency, things running on time, knowing logistically how to travel somewhere or how a new gadget functions. They still subscribe to The System as Cheseds but they enjoy order and organization much more.
And one last thing…yes 50% of Jews are Cheseds but 50% of those are Later Cheseds. In other words, ¼ of Jewish people are Chesed-Chesed and ¼ Later Cheseds. I haven’t dealt with percentages yet in this blog, but because you wrote such a good question and, also, because you are becoming so well informed about The Seven Ways I am happy to bring it up it here.
I hope my email/blog finds you well and that I have answered your questions to the best of my knowledge. May you be continually blessed with the light of Torah and merit to understand people as well as you understand the words of our sages.
Ian Bailey,
(1) Tanchuma Noach 5, Bereishis Rabbah 30:10
