A newcomer to our group 'Wabbi E' made a great comment on the Hod post. He said that if someone is stuck and needs advice he can ask the other 6 personalities what they think. Meaning, each personality thinks in its own unique way so by speaking with the other personalities you can get a broader spectrum of advice and ideas to get out of your problem.
Great comments like that are always welcome.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Meet The Hods
Eli and Devorah are newlyweds. They recently moved far, far away from their home town and into their very first apartment.
Right now it's Friday, a few hours before Shabbis, and they are busy cooking and cleaning and setting the table. Suddenly, a heavy pounding comes from the door. Eli and Devorah look at each other and sigh. It's the landlord.
"Open up the door!" he screams. "Let me in."
Before Eli can open the door their landlord unlocks it and barges in. And he hasn’t come alone; he’s brought three large family members with him. He’s trying to intimidate.
"This is not right! I want more money! There's been a mistake in the contract!"
Eli knows that there's been no mistake in the contract. The only mistake was the landlord's. He's the one who agreed to a bad deal and now he's trying to cover up for it by intimidating the poor newlyweds. Before I tell you how Eli responded, let me ask you:
How would you react if this happened to you?
I think that you would probably have one of two responses. Either you would start yelling back and ferociously fight the guy or you would freeze from the sheer violence of the yelling and have to think about what to do next. But Eli is different than most people. Eli is a Hod.
Hods are people who have a deep emotional care for others. They sincerely want to educate people, to help them be happy and to heal from their pain. In fact, both Eli and Devorah traveled deep into the former Soviet Union to do outreach and run educational programs for Jewish youth. Both are now active in teaching, counseling, and even matchmaking (Shidduchim). Eli even helped his father, a rabbi, to run services (Davening) and teach Torah at his synagogue (Shul).
But the issue is that with this strong desire to help comes a very deep sensitivity. This sensitivity comes in handy to empathize with people and to intuitively feel out their problems. But being sensitive can make Eli buckle in situations of pressure, like the one he’s in now.
So, when his landlord started demanding money, Eli started to feel bad for him. Can you imagine? Eli feels bad for someone who is trying to rip him off? So instead of yelling or freezing Eli actually writes the landlord a check for more money.
The next week, Eli begins to regret what he has done. He speaks his issue over with a rabbi, a few of his colleagues in his rabbinical training program and a Seven Ways advisor, and he comes to a clear conclusion. The landlord is wrong and he is right and he must do something about it.
Eli calls the landlord and they set up a time to meet.
As the two sit down at the table, a palpable tension is in the air. Eli begins to speak politely, yet with a feeling of firmness and determination. “I am sorry but I will not pay you any more money than what is in the contract. You signed the contract and you must live by your word.”
"Give me more money."
"Let's look at the contract." Eli pulls it out. "I'm sorry it says right here what I'm supposed to pay you."
Did the landlord begin screaming? Did he throw a chair down and have a hissy fit? No. He caved in. “Okay, okay” he responds to everything Eli says.
“Please give me my checks back.” He hands back the checks. “I am a fair person so maybe we can rewrite the contract in a way that you won’t lose so much money but so that it will still be a fair deal for me.”
Eli doesn’t yell, he doesn’t lose his cool, he just tells his landlord like it is.
“And I don’t want you ever to barge into this apartment again without calling us first. Got it?”
“Fine, the landlord replies.”
Hods can’t let their sensitivity get them in trouble. You can’t feel bad for everyone. You have to protect yourself from people who are trying to take advantage of you. You must use your Hod like Aharon did.
Hillel Says “Be one of the students of Aharon, love peace and pursue peace,
love people and bring them close to the Torah” (Avos 1:10)
Aharon is directly identified with the word ‘Hod,’ (Zohar Vayikra 103b). We can all learn one clear lesson from Hods and from Aharon. We all need to deeply care for others, we must run after peace at all costs, and we must bring the Torah to everyone.
Most of us may not feel bad for a landlord who tries to intimidate us, but perhaps we should. Yes, of course, we need to stand up to him and save ourselves, but if we just feel bad for him a bit and imagine the pain that he may have in his life it might make us less angry at him. Perhaps he is trying to pay off two mortgages. Perhaps he is scared that he may lose his job. Maybe he had a tough time growing up. Make up reasons why he acts the way he does if for no other reason than to relax yourself. Do it for yourself not for him! Being tense and worrying is bad for your health. After you are assertive and stop someone from cheating you take a moment to feel bad for him. This may not be an idea that most people like, but it’s what the great Hods of the world teach us. They tell us to pursue peace and to love people, even the ones who are like Eli’s landlord.
Eli and Devorah grew a great deal from that run in with their landlord. They are more assertive and are now able to use their Hod on people that need it. But, now that I think about it, they did a great act of helping with their assertiveness didn’t they? Don’t some people need to be stopped? To be taught a lesson? Perhaps by stopping him from cheating them they taught their landlord a valuable lesson, which, as Hod-less as it sounds, is a truly great act of Hod. Helping someone can sometimes come in mysterious ways.
P.S. Later Eli found out that his landlord was pressuring him because he needed to pay his mothers landlord who was pressuring *him*. Our benefit of the doubt was pretty accurate, wasn't it?
Right now it's Friday, a few hours before Shabbis, and they are busy cooking and cleaning and setting the table. Suddenly, a heavy pounding comes from the door. Eli and Devorah look at each other and sigh. It's the landlord.
"Open up the door!" he screams. "Let me in."
Before Eli can open the door their landlord unlocks it and barges in. And he hasn’t come alone; he’s brought three large family members with him. He’s trying to intimidate.
"This is not right! I want more money! There's been a mistake in the contract!"
Eli knows that there's been no mistake in the contract. The only mistake was the landlord's. He's the one who agreed to a bad deal and now he's trying to cover up for it by intimidating the poor newlyweds. Before I tell you how Eli responded, let me ask you:
How would you react if this happened to you?
I think that you would probably have one of two responses. Either you would start yelling back and ferociously fight the guy or you would freeze from the sheer violence of the yelling and have to think about what to do next. But Eli is different than most people. Eli is a Hod.
Hods are people who have a deep emotional care for others. They sincerely want to educate people, to help them be happy and to heal from their pain. In fact, both Eli and Devorah traveled deep into the former Soviet Union to do outreach and run educational programs for Jewish youth. Both are now active in teaching, counseling, and even matchmaking (Shidduchim). Eli even helped his father, a rabbi, to run services (Davening) and teach Torah at his synagogue (Shul).
But the issue is that with this strong desire to help comes a very deep sensitivity. This sensitivity comes in handy to empathize with people and to intuitively feel out their problems. But being sensitive can make Eli buckle in situations of pressure, like the one he’s in now.
So, when his landlord started demanding money, Eli started to feel bad for him. Can you imagine? Eli feels bad for someone who is trying to rip him off? So instead of yelling or freezing Eli actually writes the landlord a check for more money.
The next week, Eli begins to regret what he has done. He speaks his issue over with a rabbi, a few of his colleagues in his rabbinical training program and a Seven Ways advisor, and he comes to a clear conclusion. The landlord is wrong and he is right and he must do something about it.
Eli calls the landlord and they set up a time to meet.
As the two sit down at the table, a palpable tension is in the air. Eli begins to speak politely, yet with a feeling of firmness and determination. “I am sorry but I will not pay you any more money than what is in the contract. You signed the contract and you must live by your word.”
"Give me more money."
"Let's look at the contract." Eli pulls it out. "I'm sorry it says right here what I'm supposed to pay you."
Did the landlord begin screaming? Did he throw a chair down and have a hissy fit? No. He caved in. “Okay, okay” he responds to everything Eli says.
“Please give me my checks back.” He hands back the checks. “I am a fair person so maybe we can rewrite the contract in a way that you won’t lose so much money but so that it will still be a fair deal for me.”
Eli doesn’t yell, he doesn’t lose his cool, he just tells his landlord like it is.
“And I don’t want you ever to barge into this apartment again without calling us first. Got it?”
“Fine, the landlord replies.”
Hods can’t let their sensitivity get them in trouble. You can’t feel bad for everyone. You have to protect yourself from people who are trying to take advantage of you. You must use your Hod like Aharon did.
Hillel Says “Be one of the students of Aharon, love peace and pursue peace,
love people and bring them close to the Torah” (Avos 1:10)
Aharon is directly identified with the word ‘Hod,’ (Zohar Vayikra 103b). We can all learn one clear lesson from Hods and from Aharon. We all need to deeply care for others, we must run after peace at all costs, and we must bring the Torah to everyone.
Most of us may not feel bad for a landlord who tries to intimidate us, but perhaps we should. Yes, of course, we need to stand up to him and save ourselves, but if we just feel bad for him a bit and imagine the pain that he may have in his life it might make us less angry at him. Perhaps he is trying to pay off two mortgages. Perhaps he is scared that he may lose his job. Maybe he had a tough time growing up. Make up reasons why he acts the way he does if for no other reason than to relax yourself. Do it for yourself not for him! Being tense and worrying is bad for your health. After you are assertive and stop someone from cheating you take a moment to feel bad for him. This may not be an idea that most people like, but it’s what the great Hods of the world teach us. They tell us to pursue peace and to love people, even the ones who are like Eli’s landlord.
Eli and Devorah grew a great deal from that run in with their landlord. They are more assertive and are now able to use their Hod on people that need it. But, now that I think about it, they did a great act of helping with their assertiveness didn’t they? Don’t some people need to be stopped? To be taught a lesson? Perhaps by stopping him from cheating them they taught their landlord a valuable lesson, which, as Hod-less as it sounds, is a truly great act of Hod. Helping someone can sometimes come in mysterious ways.
P.S. Later Eli found out that his landlord was pressuring him because he needed to pay his mothers landlord who was pressuring *him*. Our benefit of the doubt was pretty accurate, wasn't it?
Saturday, November 10, 2007
My Dad the Tiferes
My Dad is a Tiferes, he's a musician. He's playing on stage right now in front of me as I sit with 50 other people in the middle of a mall. His 6'1" slim frame fits nicely into his blue shirt and khakis. He wails away on the harmonica as the guitarist, bassist, and drummer all expertly flow with his groove.
My Dad's had a band for over 30 years. First it was 'Stevie and the Blue Flames' then 'The Blue Flames' when my Dad reached an age that 'Stevie' didn't sound right. But it didn't matter the name or who was playing with him, my Dad kept on playing the Blues. Now the band is called 'The Crossroads Band' after famous blues songs about the 'crossroads' -the highways that crisscross the South US, where The Blues was born.
My Dad is on stage because he's a Tiferes and I sit here in the crowd because I'm not. I tried my hand at guitar and harmonica but they didn't jive with me. Many people in the crowd here and reading this blog try to do the same. They try to make music, poems, and paintings all because they want the glamour. They want to make the crowd go wild. They too want to get people out of their chairs and start dancin' on their feet and little kids dancin' in silly little circles. They too want to create poetry and songs that dance in people's minds for weeks on end. But I'm much happier here in my cushiony chair. Sure, anyone out there who’s not a Tiferes could write a good song or a poem, in fact many of us have, but for Tiferes people it comes naturally to them. It flows from their veins. They can cut a whole album while we're still figuring out what rhymes with 'orange.' Well I'll tell you: nothing rhymes with orange. (Porridge maybe?)
In my opinion, the vast majority of the best songs and poems of all time have been written by Tiferes people. And on a broader scale, that's what the Seven Ways is really about. A lot of people here in the crowd and reading this blog would be happier if they could compose their own type of music. Their own type of music may be teaching or directing an office; maybe it's becoming a doctor or starting their own business so they can be their own boss. The Seven Ways helps you figure out who you are. Yes Tiferes people get more publicity than any other personality, but you will be much happier if you find your own music to play. Tiferes people are called Tiferes because Tiferes means 'beauty' and they bring out the beauty in life and make beautiful music. But you have beautiful music, too. You just need to find the right instrument. That's why I am writing the Seven Ways, it’s my music. And I want everyone to be happy by finding their own instrument. My Dad's on stage and he deserves to be there because of his G-d given talents.
I have to admit, he's a pretty cool guy. He's played in 40 different cities in Western Europe including Amsterdam, Inhoven, Antwerp, and (my favorite) in Tel Aviv with Israel's own version of Bob Dylan: Dani Latoni. I just enjoy my view from the crowd.
If you want to check out my Dad's music go to http://www.crossroadsblues.net/ (the music takes a second to load but it plays) or you can type 'Steve Bailey' into a search on iTunes and his music pops up. (Alert: don't buy the album Hop on Board because it's someone else who ripped off my Dad’s music and is selling it!). If you want my Dad’s book on how to play harmonica email him at southparkslim@hotmail.com . Also email him if you want to record in his recording studio in Seattle.
If you are a Tiferes or have Tiferes talent, you should definitely get up the courage to take your talents onstage (or at least send my Dad an email to learn how to hone your harmonica skills). The world needs your talents to keep it a colorful, exciting place. Otherwise, I have a nice cushy seat for you right here next to me.
My Dad's had a band for over 30 years. First it was 'Stevie and the Blue Flames' then 'The Blue Flames' when my Dad reached an age that 'Stevie' didn't sound right. But it didn't matter the name or who was playing with him, my Dad kept on playing the Blues. Now the band is called 'The Crossroads Band' after famous blues songs about the 'crossroads' -the highways that crisscross the South US, where The Blues was born.
My Dad is on stage because he's a Tiferes and I sit here in the crowd because I'm not. I tried my hand at guitar and harmonica but they didn't jive with me. Many people in the crowd here and reading this blog try to do the same. They try to make music, poems, and paintings all because they want the glamour. They want to make the crowd go wild. They too want to get people out of their chairs and start dancin' on their feet and little kids dancin' in silly little circles. They too want to create poetry and songs that dance in people's minds for weeks on end. But I'm much happier here in my cushiony chair. Sure, anyone out there who’s not a Tiferes could write a good song or a poem, in fact many of us have, but for Tiferes people it comes naturally to them. It flows from their veins. They can cut a whole album while we're still figuring out what rhymes with 'orange.' Well I'll tell you: nothing rhymes with orange. (Porridge maybe?)
In my opinion, the vast majority of the best songs and poems of all time have been written by Tiferes people. And on a broader scale, that's what the Seven Ways is really about. A lot of people here in the crowd and reading this blog would be happier if they could compose their own type of music. Their own type of music may be teaching or directing an office; maybe it's becoming a doctor or starting their own business so they can be their own boss. The Seven Ways helps you figure out who you are. Yes Tiferes people get more publicity than any other personality, but you will be much happier if you find your own music to play. Tiferes people are called Tiferes because Tiferes means 'beauty' and they bring out the beauty in life and make beautiful music. But you have beautiful music, too. You just need to find the right instrument. That's why I am writing the Seven Ways, it’s my music. And I want everyone to be happy by finding their own instrument. My Dad's on stage and he deserves to be there because of his G-d given talents.
I have to admit, he's a pretty cool guy. He's played in 40 different cities in Western Europe including Amsterdam, Inhoven, Antwerp, and (my favorite) in Tel Aviv with Israel's own version of Bob Dylan: Dani Latoni. I just enjoy my view from the crowd.
If you want to check out my Dad's music go to http://www.crossroadsblues.net/ (the music takes a second to load but it plays) or you can type 'Steve Bailey' into a search on iTunes and his music pops up. (Alert: don't buy the album Hop on Board because it's someone else who ripped off my Dad’s music and is selling it!). If you want my Dad’s book on how to play harmonica email him at southparkslim@hotmail.com . Also email him if you want to record in his recording studio in Seattle.
If you are a Tiferes or have Tiferes talent, you should definitely get up the courage to take your talents onstage (or at least send my Dad an email to learn how to hone your harmonica skills). The world needs your talents to keep it a colorful, exciting place. Otherwise, I have a nice cushy seat for you right here next to me.
Great Comment
An avid fan of the Seven Ways Reb Sabra just posted something that is essential to understanding the Seven Ways. He brought up the fact that, even though we may not be Gevurahs ourselves, we can still learn from them. This is very true and an important tool for all of us. Though we have only one primary personality out of the seven, we can still learn valuable lessons from the other personalities. From Gevurah we learn to be self-disciplined or to fight for what's right. From Tiferes we learn that we all need to find our inner music and play it for everyone. Thank you Reb Sabra, great post, and we always welcome any other comments or questions on the Seven Ways system.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
The Next Two Weeks
After these two Gevurah articles, I think You've got a good picture of Gevurah, so the next two weeks I'm going to post on Tiferes and Hod to spice things up a little bit.
Rabbi Bailey
Rabbi Bailey
Gevurah Saves the Day
You saw in the last post that when Gevurah is unleashed it can be deadly.
But Gevurah can also save the day...
In the early 1900s the beautiful green city of Seattle was growing rapidly. Its sea port was the second largest in the US behind New York and several companies that are now famous today began to take off. Most of the Jews immigrated to the city in the late 1800s and they quickly established both Ashkenazic and Sephardic Shuls. They fought to maintain their orthodoxy as many Shuls at that time became Conservative because of a sudden atmosphere of change that swept through Jewish America. The Ashkenazic Shul was lacking a rabbi and a member of the community who was somewhat learned and a good speaker used to get up and give speeches on a regular basis.
One year, the Shul was holding Kol Nidrei services on Yom Kippur night and the member who would give speeches went up onto the Bimah and made some shocking suggestions. ‘It’s time to become more modern,’ he said. ‘We should bring the women downstairs [to sit with the men],’ he continued. But there was one Jew who rose up and saved the day. "Shaygetz, arunta fun de Bima" (Translation: "Abominable irreligious jerk! (I'm not sure there's a good translation for Shaygetz but you get the idea) Get down from the podium!") He yelled from the crowd and quickly ran up to the Bimah and kept yelling: ‘We don't need changes here!’ He stayed up there for quite some time and no one could shush him as he continued to shout at the speaker in a mixture of Yiddish and English. Finally the speaker started speaking about other things such as why they didn’t have spittoons in Shuls anymore!
The Jew who stopped that speaker was Moshe Yehudah Genauer. He was someone who came over to the US from Europe and wore traditional Jewish garb, refusing to cut his beard and completely maintained orthodox observance. He dressed in a way that appeared more restrictive and more ‘Jewish’ than others. He did this because of the good side of Gevurah. If you remember, in last weeks post we explained that Gevurah means to attack or to be self-disciplined. Mr. Genauer spent most of his time being self-disciplined and faithful to Judaism in a country that was quickly abandoning it. He didn’t use his Gevurah to walk around all the time criticizing people. In fact, he was known as a kind, upbeat person and he brought lots of Torah to Seattle's Jewish community. But his mission was to preserve Judaism through his Gevurah-style dedication. I have no idea if Yehudah Genauer was a Gevurah or not, in fact I think he specifically wasn’t, but his act of Gevurah at the right time saved Seattle’s orthodox community and quite possibly all of Seattle’s Jews from ultimately assimilating and going extinct. The bottom line is that the Shul stayed Orthodox and produced quite a few wonderful people and institutions.
The healthy Gevurah people that I know are a lot like Mr. Genauer. They are self-disciplined and want to do The System well. And whether it be Judaism or work, they want to do the normal done thing and they have the energy to work hard and succeed. And when the going gets tough and a Shaygetz gets up they can shout him down.
Remember my screaming neighbor from last week? Remember the anger and rage that he had? He should have taken a lesson from Mr. Genauer. His screaming should be saved for drastic occasions.
And as for you, your self-discipline doesn’t necessarily come through a beard and a black hat (although it might because of the diverse backgrounds of readers). Everyone has their own way of maintaining their Jewish community and their own personal religiosity. Gevurah situations come in many facets of your life and you may be the lone Mr. Genauer there.
Are you ready to scream the Shaygetz down from the Bimah? It might not be so easy. Everyone is watching and lots of people might not agree with you, but you gotta do it. You and I gotta prepare ourselves because when the Shaygetz gets up Gevurah needs to be unleashed.
But Gevurah can also save the day...
In the early 1900s the beautiful green city of Seattle was growing rapidly. Its sea port was the second largest in the US behind New York and several companies that are now famous today began to take off. Most of the Jews immigrated to the city in the late 1800s and they quickly established both Ashkenazic and Sephardic Shuls. They fought to maintain their orthodoxy as many Shuls at that time became Conservative because of a sudden atmosphere of change that swept through Jewish America. The Ashkenazic Shul was lacking a rabbi and a member of the community who was somewhat learned and a good speaker used to get up and give speeches on a regular basis.
One year, the Shul was holding Kol Nidrei services on Yom Kippur night and the member who would give speeches went up onto the Bimah and made some shocking suggestions. ‘It’s time to become more modern,’ he said. ‘We should bring the women downstairs [to sit with the men],’ he continued. But there was one Jew who rose up and saved the day. "Shaygetz, arunta fun de Bima" (Translation: "Abominable irreligious jerk! (I'm not sure there's a good translation for Shaygetz but you get the idea) Get down from the podium!") He yelled from the crowd and quickly ran up to the Bimah and kept yelling: ‘We don't need changes here!’ He stayed up there for quite some time and no one could shush him as he continued to shout at the speaker in a mixture of Yiddish and English. Finally the speaker started speaking about other things such as why they didn’t have spittoons in Shuls anymore!
The Jew who stopped that speaker was Moshe Yehudah Genauer. He was someone who came over to the US from Europe and wore traditional Jewish garb, refusing to cut his beard and completely maintained orthodox observance. He dressed in a way that appeared more restrictive and more ‘Jewish’ than others. He did this because of the good side of Gevurah. If you remember, in last weeks post we explained that Gevurah means to attack or to be self-disciplined. Mr. Genauer spent most of his time being self-disciplined and faithful to Judaism in a country that was quickly abandoning it. He didn’t use his Gevurah to walk around all the time criticizing people. In fact, he was known as a kind, upbeat person and he brought lots of Torah to Seattle's Jewish community. But his mission was to preserve Judaism through his Gevurah-style dedication. I have no idea if Yehudah Genauer was a Gevurah or not, in fact I think he specifically wasn’t, but his act of Gevurah at the right time saved Seattle’s orthodox community and quite possibly all of Seattle’s Jews from ultimately assimilating and going extinct. The bottom line is that the Shul stayed Orthodox and produced quite a few wonderful people and institutions.
The healthy Gevurah people that I know are a lot like Mr. Genauer. They are self-disciplined and want to do The System well. And whether it be Judaism or work, they want to do the normal done thing and they have the energy to work hard and succeed. And when the going gets tough and a Shaygetz gets up they can shout him down.
Remember my screaming neighbor from last week? Remember the anger and rage that he had? He should have taken a lesson from Mr. Genauer. His screaming should be saved for drastic occasions.
And as for you, your self-discipline doesn’t necessarily come through a beard and a black hat (although it might because of the diverse backgrounds of readers). Everyone has their own way of maintaining their Jewish community and their own personal religiosity. Gevurah situations come in many facets of your life and you may be the lone Mr. Genauer there.
Are you ready to scream the Shaygetz down from the Bimah? It might not be so easy. Everyone is watching and lots of people might not agree with you, but you gotta do it. You and I gotta prepare ourselves because when the Shaygetz gets up Gevurah needs to be unleashed.
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