Responsa #2: Intelligent Questions from an Intelligent Netzach

My good friend and colleague Reb Daniel Chaim Fast, Shlitah, your email reached me at 6:35 am this morning, the 12^th of Sivan תשס"ח Sunday June 15^th, Fathers Day on the secular calendar(*) it warmed my heart to hear your wonderful questions. I will try my best to answer them in the style of our Torah, first question first, the last one last.

I am splitting this response into a couple of blogs so they don’t get too long.

You wrote:

3 questions:

(1) Are middos raos (bad character traits/patterns of actions) such as ca'as/anger, kina/jealousy, tayva/desire for physical pleasures, cavod/desire for honor, etc. found more in specific personalities, or are they totally independent?

(2) How does one tell a Chesed, aside from process of elimination?

(3) Seeing that approximately half the world are Chesed personalities, it would seem to be extremely important to know specifically
about the particulars of each secondary
midah for Cheseds. Which secondary middos make a "Later Chesed"?

(1) Yes, certain personalities are more susceptible to certain bad character traits and challenges. Let's go through the ones you listed.

Caas/Anger: I've found that *pure* anger, as in impatience, irritability and hostility is found in Malchus people and many Gevurahs (When we say a certain personality like ‘Malchus’ we also mean to include many people whose 2nd Middah is Malchus). These are the two aggressive personalities. They get very upset when they think that people are messing with The System (those societal and cultural norms and rules that the general populace subscribe to.)

Malchus people can't understand why in the world you don't think the way they do. They live in a very cerebral world and their cerebrum in the one that counts!

Gevurahs view themselves as the defenders of The System and most get angry when they see a breach in The System.

Don’t get me wrong, every personality gets angry, but that anger is more of an 'irk' than real rage. For example, Hods feel upset when they see people taking advantage of others, Tifereses when they feel others are being mean or ruining a perfectly happy experience that they are going through; Netzachs get pretty upset when they see people destroying morality or blatantly violating sacred things.

Yisods get mad when they see inefficiency in an organization or when they feel that not everyone is getting a change to interact with each other or exchange ideas (i.e. one selfish person is hogging the conversation), and, finally, Cheseds usually only get mad at the normal things people get mad in every day life (like annoying coworkers, family, traffic, etc.)

As for jealousy, I’ve found that Tiferes and Chesed people suffer from this Middah Raah the most. Cheseds (especially Earlier Cheseds) are jealous of people who have unique talents, but they need to realize that they are able to mold themselves into who they want to be so, in the end, they can become the very person who they are jealous of. Tifereses are jealous and I’m still trying to fully understand why. I myself am not a Tiferes of Chesed so this jealousy seems a bit foreign to me. But I think that a Tiferes’ powerful imagination can put them in another person’s shoes and they become jealous that they can’t be that person. Also, “a craftsman only hates people in his own craft”, so Tiferes people become very jealous when they have competition in the field that they are creative in.

Listen, any person or personality has the ability to be jealous. A Yisod director gets jealous and nervous when another Yisod starts working is his office. The point is that we’re usually jealous when we want something we don’t have and we feel like we deserve that thing or it’s part of our lot in life.

Yisods *by far* are the ones who suffer from the desire for physical pleasures. They have so much natural raw energy that drives them that enjoying physical pleasure comes naturally to them. The problem is when they take it to far and overindulge. Tifereses are second, followed by Hods. Tifereses enjoy physical pleasure and often use it to stimulate their creative juices. And Hods are so emotional that food makes their body feel good, especially when they’re upset.

Malchuses and Gevurahs desire honor much more that any other personality. I would assume that you find them in the anger and honor categories because these two negative character traits are related. If I feel like I’m so great that no one should step on me and everyone should think I’m the best (honor/ full of myself) then I’ll probably be very upset (anger) when people put me down and try to step on me. Rambam lists them as two traits that a person must not have any bit of.

In others words, you are absolutely right. Each personality is susceptible to it’s own unique set of challenges. That’s why it’s sooooooooo important for you to know yourself, so you can know your challenges and be able to conquer them.

Next week is part #2 of this responsa, stay tuned!

(*) I am writing this response in the style of our great rabbis and Torah sages.

Responsa #1: A Naturopathic Tiferes

Our first question comes to us from a Tiferes-Hod who is in medical school to become a naturopathic doctor. He writes:

How does one determine their 2nd Sfirah? Is it like astrology, where the sun is who you truly are and your rising is people's first impression of you?

Josh

First of all, I love your question because it is *sooooooooooo* Tiferes ;-) . It's clear that you have a curious mind and have studied up on various systems of understanding people and life. That's great. You'll enjoy The Seven Ways system.


Second, I must admit that I'm not well versed in astrology, so I can't directly address the second part of your question about rising suns (though there are actually various Torah sources for different constellations and "Mazalos" "cosmic destinies" that people have), but I can help you better understand how to figure out what your/other people's second Middas/Sfiros are.



And-hello!-by the way, it's sooooooooo important to know your second Sfirah. Like, let's say you're trying to get married and you are a Hod and your prospective date is a Netzach. Sounds promising, right? You care about people he/she cares about them, too, and wants to educate them. Works out very well and is a recommended, complimentary match, right? It is......


Unless your second Middah is Tiferes and their's is Gevurah! That could be a *big* *huge* conflict zone. Tiferes and Gevurah rarely mesh very well. It's worth a date or maybe two but you can't encourage those people to keep dating if they aren't getting along in those areas. While your Tiferes side is making jokes, their Gevurah wants to talk business and finds it annoying. Where his/her Gevurah side wants to suddenly an firmly end things on time, your Tiferes may be enjoying itself and want to go over time. Could be very, very not good.



So, the answer is to know yourself. As we've been discussing in the Sfiros Haomer combinations, someone's personality is made up of a combo of two different Sfiros.



Remember Hod-Yisod? A Hod-Yisod makes deep relationships (Yisod) with people through helping them (Hod). He invents active, innovative (Yisod) ideas to heal (Hod) people. But it can be really tough to figure that out by looking at someone, especially when a person could be any one of 49 combos!



So the easiest method that will get you to understand people most of the time is to pick up on different patterns or significant actions in their behavior. Doctor Josh, you should dissect their actions; break them down into parts until you can see each component as a slice of one of the Seven Ways.



Let's take *you*, Josh, a Tiferes-Hod. You will have *all* of the characteristics of a Tiferes and *some* of a Hod. You probably have certain creative activities that you like to do like writing poetry or stories and doing art and (possibly) gardening. The choice to become a naturopathic doctor is also clearly a Tiferes choice. It has elements of the hippy and natural side that many Tifereses have. These are Tiferes components that you must isolate in your personality.


In terms ofHod, I suspect that you like the idea of being a doctor so you can care for others and heal them. You are probably sweet and kind and want the best for others. You often, but not always, find yourself listening to others' problems and empathizing with them. These are hod components.


But maybe you're Hod-Tiferes? How do you know which one to put where?



Take a look at your *main character*. That's your first Sfirah/Middah. You have *all* of the characteristics of a Tiferes. But what you *specialize* in, that's your secondary Sfirah. You will have *some* of the characteristics of a Hod. You aren't always running to help people, it's only part of your life.



I suggest that you also study a bit of art therapy which is an idea based on Tiferes-Hod. To use art to heal. This may become a nice part of your practice as you heal people physically and emotionally. (Maybe get a bit of training in counseling, too.)




So, Josh, to sum it all up, you will know what your secondary Middah is because you will have some of the characteristics of that personality, and it's the area that you specialize in, though it's not your main character.



I wish you the best of luck and keep on sending us your questions so we can help you find your Way.


Best wishes,


Rabbi Bailey

Let's Hear From *YOU!*

I hope you enjoyed the Sfiros combinations that I wrote the past few weeks. Let me know

#1 if you liked the combos enough to want to read more about them in a future book



#2 If you have any questions on The Seven Ways that you would like me to answer


It's time to hear from *YOU*!

Aside from each of the 49 combinations making a distinct personality, each of the 49 represent a certain idea. An amazing combo is Tiferes ShebMalchus (Malchus-Tiferes).



While Malchus represents kingship or government, Tiferes is art and beauty. The beauty we find in Malchus has two forms.



Initially, it's the idea of Patriotism, namely, that someone will find beauty in his country. Dissected, the word means the ideology (-ism) of the fatherland (Patria/o), the good attitude and dedicated participation that people have for their homeland. The wonderfulness (Tiferes) people find in their country (Malchus).*




Well, in our day and age yes many people are patriotic but there probably more people interested in other organizations. I'd say that people often find that patriotism participating in Judaism (or gentiles in their religions) or a social group or a group that is even anti-government (Ironic, right, to make a group though you think groups are bad?). But in any event people find it incredible to be part of something bigger than themselves and they enjoy it immensely.




The other side of Malchus-Tiferes is where Tiferes is being *used* for Malchus versus being *utilized* for it. In other words, when Malchus and Tiferes are working together cohesively they can give a person a healthy sense of patriotism. But when Tiferes is subservient to Malchus and the two are disparate, you get Propaganda. Propaganda is the use of Tiferes art, song, cartoons, etc. to compel you to like the government.




I believe that a Malchus-Tiferes example was a man who started out as a painter and ended up the cruel dictator that brought us the tragedies in WWII. He used propaganda to instill an unhealthy sense of patriotism in his country and brainwashed them into doing awful things. Germans even called their country the "Father Land" unlike other countries who used the phrase Mother Land."




But the ultimate Malchus kingship is obviously from Hashem, our G-d. These 49 are "His Middos" "His patterns of action" in this world, so therefore one idea that we must ingrain in ourselves is to have patriotism for Him; to find beauty in having a G-d and to want to be in His country and live by His rules.



May you feel patriotism for you true country and Melech,



Rabbi Bailey




*I'm wondering here if 'fatherland' simply means 'the land that your father came from' or if it has more Malchus connotations like 'the land I feel like the leader is my father' or 'my king is my father.'

Let me know if you find some more advanced etymological info.